Hello. It’s me again. Yeah it’s been a long, long while. I’ve been busy…
Busy trying to survive what life’s been throwing at me especially since Feb 2010, when this blog came to an abrupt halt. Busy trying to keep my head above water. Busy coming to terms with the choices I’ve made in my life and their consequences, at times having to dodge suicidal thoughts, and busy looking to define a new purpose in life.
I think that’s going to be a long ongoing process. I am by no means done with finding myself. CuriouslyInspired is still a lost soul, lost but searching hard.
I’ve been reading about core values recently, here is one link that I can share: http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTED_85.htm for example. Life can be much easier when you acknowledge your values – and when you make plans and decisions that support these; then you are not trying to swim against the current all the time… it says, in a nutshell. Whether this is the full story about happiness and fulfilment, I don’t really know, probably not. But I do have a feeling I have had a disconnect between my own internal values and my life’s decisions for many years, and when I think about it hard and honestly enough I know that I’ve not been truly happy and fulfilled in all aspects of my life for such a long time – maybe as far back as since finishing my degree in 1995.
Not to say these are wasted years, no, far from it. But life has been a struggle in so many ways, and so often I have felt I have been fighting myself more than anything.
So I am going to try and resurrect this blog and use it as a space for my own thoughts.
I am not going to delete the old posts from here, but just accept the shift towards the more personal.
Finally, a closing thought for today. In the past I shared the fact that I have this blog with a couple of very dear friends of mine. Whilst we had some very interesting discussions on here in the past, I did in the end feel that I could not carry on blogging as I felt that I lost my anonymity and thus my freedom of expression. We spoke about sensitive things like religion and in real life I hate risking offending people or having misunderstandings on subjects like that, so gradually I withdrew from the debate myself. I hope any friends of mine who might still have this feed on RSS will understand this but I can only resurrect this blog anonymously and I will therefore assume that they are unaware that it’s back in action again and that they are not reading it anymore. And maybe it’s best that they just forgot about it and deleted it from their RSS feed and did not mention the whole sordid business to me in future. Please? I thought about changing my user name and the blog name to keep going in secret now I’ve decided to restart – but I dearly love my username and the title of this blog – so there! My deep apologies to anyone who knows me personally, but I hope – really hope – that you will understand and respect my request thus expressed x
Copyright 2012 CuriouslyInspired